Monologue: Social Networking
Now, why does every single person on the east coast with a Twitter account feel the need to tell
us that it's a snow day? I've seen the news, I know they're buried under two feet of snow, I think
I can make the assumption that they're not going to be dragging their happy asses into school,
and even if they are I don't care. If they're not, I don't care. So I guess my point is, I don't care.
You know we don't need to be worrying about those weirdoes who hide in the bushes and look
through peoples' windows with a pair of binoculars anymore. No, what we need to worry about
is this social networking crap. Why the hell do people feel the need to broadcast every mundane
detail of every minute of their day to hundreds of people, most of whom they probably don't
even know in real life? As if we all need to know that good ol' Bobby is having trouble with
problem number five on his chemistry homework. Or that Jane just bought a new dress that she's
probably going to be too fat for in a few weeks if she keeps eating those Girl Scout cookies that
for some reason she felt the need to tell us she purchased.
You know what I saw the other day? Some guy posted a picture of a police car pulling him over
as he was driving down the road. Now, this guy is getting pulled over and his first thought is to
take out his crappy cell phone and snap a picture so that his 500 or so quote unquote friends can
see that he's a crappy driver with no common sense.
And you know what really pisses me off? These stupid emo scene guitar hero punk wannabes
with their stupid hair and lame glasses who think its so cool and trendy to take a picture of
themselves in a mirror. Evidently they're too goddamn stupid to figure out how to use the timer
function on their little cameras or they're just lazy. Either way they look way less cool than they
think.
And don't even get me started with YouTube. You wanna see the lowest scum humanity has to
offer check out some of the comments on that place. You know if these pathetic fat slimes would
get off the futon in mom's basement every once in a while and get a life maybe they wouldn't
have to resort to making asses out of themselves on the internet, where the whole world can bask
in their stupidity.
I think I've pretty much covered everything so at this point I'm just going to shut up and wait for
my blinding rage to once again consume every fiber of my being.
us that it's a snow day? I've seen the news, I know they're buried under two feet of snow, I think
I can make the assumption that they're not going to be dragging their happy asses into school,
and even if they are I don't care. If they're not, I don't care. So I guess my point is, I don't care.
You know we don't need to be worrying about those weirdoes who hide in the bushes and look
through peoples' windows with a pair of binoculars anymore. No, what we need to worry about
is this social networking crap. Why the hell do people feel the need to broadcast every mundane
detail of every minute of their day to hundreds of people, most of whom they probably don't
even know in real life? As if we all need to know that good ol' Bobby is having trouble with
problem number five on his chemistry homework. Or that Jane just bought a new dress that she's
probably going to be too fat for in a few weeks if she keeps eating those Girl Scout cookies that
for some reason she felt the need to tell us she purchased.
You know what I saw the other day? Some guy posted a picture of a police car pulling him over
as he was driving down the road. Now, this guy is getting pulled over and his first thought is to
take out his crappy cell phone and snap a picture so that his 500 or so quote unquote friends can
see that he's a crappy driver with no common sense.
And you know what really pisses me off? These stupid emo scene guitar hero punk wannabes
with their stupid hair and lame glasses who think its so cool and trendy to take a picture of
themselves in a mirror. Evidently they're too goddamn stupid to figure out how to use the timer
function on their little cameras or they're just lazy. Either way they look way less cool than they
think.
And don't even get me started with YouTube. You wanna see the lowest scum humanity has to
offer check out some of the comments on that place. You know if these pathetic fat slimes would
get off the futon in mom's basement every once in a while and get a life maybe they wouldn't
have to resort to making asses out of themselves on the internet, where the whole world can bask
in their stupidity.
I think I've pretty much covered everything so at this point I'm just going to shut up and wait for
my blinding rage to once again consume every fiber of my being.
